Last night I went out to see The Chambermaids with some friends, which was lovely (despite the small turnout) but my Saturday has been decidedly more somber. The husband’s been uncharacteristically motivated. This is a good thing, to be taken advantage of. But we’ve been cleaning out a long-neglected storage area. One that contains the little man’s old baby things. This is bringing back some good memories and has had us laughing at the teeny tiny trousers and itty bitty socks and old Halloween costumes. But it’s bittersweet. And not just because a lot of it sustained water damage before the roof was replaced (and will have to be thrown out). It’s brought up those questions that are always at the back of my mind. Are my baby-making attempts over? Will the little man ever have a sibling? And next Saturday will be a similarly disjointed one. We’re having a memorial service, to acknowledge my other son and his lost future. That is sure to be an emotional rollercoaster, but I plan to take the little man to a bonfire in the evening, at one of the local community centers. And then, to round out the weirdness, I’d like to go see Yo La Tengo that night and maybe The Long Winters too. But hell, why not? Sometimes I need all the distractions I can get.
For now I should shake off the melancholy and be thankful for what I’ve got…namely the little man, in all of his magnificience. He may very well be the only child I’ll ever have, but in his case it really is quality over quantity.
Bonus: It’s mild enough that we’ve thrown the windows open, which has meant we can hear live music…coming up from the Summit Big Brew event down at Harriet Island. I considered walking down with the little man, but it turns out admission would be $30…for each of us! Whoa.
Plus: Time marches on but I’m not ready for it to be October already. At least Neil Gaiman will be doing a reading in town on the 5th, which is next Thursday night, and it’s at my favorite theater, The Riverview. Profits from the $5 admission price go to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund.
And: 100 Pirates in 100 Days.
3 Comments
i can really relate to what you say about other children. i had a miscarriage before having my son and only got through how tough it was because i found out i was pregnant with him just before my other child would have been born. i can’t have any more now but i wouldn’t want to anyway. its a funny business…
Oooooh, I’m so excited for October! I love fall. The brisk air, the leaves, the FOODS that taste better, the natural romance in the air…love it.
Angharad, it really is a tricky business. But one I am most likely through with…
Megan, I’ll have to second that notion.
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