The boy’s psychologist has two main criticisms of my parenting style: 1) I’m too much fun and 2) too often I shield my son from his neurotypical peers, and others who might cause him distress. She’s not wrong. Since it’s just the two of us, the path of least resistance is that much more appealing. Why not just enjoy ourselves and avoid conflict? Well, because that’s not teaching the boy any valuable life lessons. He’s going to need some coping skills, especially with middle school/junior high fast approaching. I get that. I really do. To that end I’ve been trying to set up more frequent play dates with his peers. And I’m working on a simple sticker chart for homework. Following through is where I sometimes fall down. I am the queen of escapism. Speaking of, the exes. They are damn near unavoidable in this town. Makes me want to crawl into my hidey-hole. But that would be admitting defeat. I’ve just got to forge ahead through the fields of awkward, even if I won’t be tra-la-la-ing along the way.
At least I’m not the only one struggling with the strangeness of parenting. Caught up with Mimi Smartypants and can totally relate to her experiences with creepy Kevin and his creepy parents (scroll down to number 4). That sort of thing makes me want to go back into duck-and-cover avoid-y mode.
We did hunker down at home yesterday, so I could take care of business around the house - cooking, cleaning, bills, etc. And I baked the boy a blueberry apple pie. But then we went off to a bonfire with a picnic dinner, and on to Eclipse Records to see friends and friends’ bands play. The fun will continue this afternoon with a return to the Children’s Theatre to see Madeline and the Gypsies. But before then we will sit down with the spelling homework. And it will be great. Groan.
Bonus: Thirty years of Echo and the Bunnymen? Wow. They celebrated by playing just one U.S. show, at Radio City Music Hall, backed by a full orchestra. Another famous Brit is going a different route…John Lydon for Country Life Butter?
Plus: Rotofugi is having a warehouse moving sale. Dangerousity level = HIGH. I want I want I want.
And: I missed out on Thee Oh Sees show at the Turf Club last night, but at least I had La Blogotheque’s Take Away shows to keep me occupied. My fave so far? Man Man.
2 Comments
i had the same reaction to mimi’s creepy kevin tales. they made my heart hurt for that kid and for my own and every other kid out there struggling along the spectrum. normally i am right there with her, nodding “mmm-hmms” and “amens”—but this time i just had to think that she just might be flat out mean and maybe not as witty and fantastic as i had once given her credit for. and i have been a reader and a fan since way way back.
i really enjoy your blog, sharyn. it gives me a lot of hope that my son will be just fine despite the rather difficult diagnosis of asperger’s. i, too, am guilty of shielding my kid from neurotypical peers. he’s getting a bit better about blending and not geting too overwhelming for others, but still he stands out. a lot. i just want to protect him, and preserve him, and get him good and strong and okay with who he is before i lead him out into the harsh world. it isn’t that it is easier to protect, but that it feels better to not see him hurting. and truly, all exposing him to feeling rejected now instead of later will do is desensitize wounds. it won’t really prepare him. so i choose to wait until he is older and hopefully wiser before we deal with all that. crazy? i hope not.
Couldn’t agree with you more re: Mimi. Sigh.
And hey, thanks! I’m not entirely sure how to handle this issue with my son. Right now I’m trying to follow the psychologist’s advice and hope for the best, but I don’t want to see him hurting either. This can be a rough gig sometimes.
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