weapons of massdistraction

Over the last several years I’ve been hearing about group purchasing power in China:

Chinese consumers are using the Internet to organize themselves into powerful bargaining groups that use their large numbers to negotiate discounts on products of all kinds.

I was pleased to see that notion spread to the states, in the form of Groupon (but with bonus snark - the copywriting is fairly amusing). Today’s deal is for dental services - $59 for $225 worth of cleaning/x-ray services. A steal for those of us without dental insurance. I snapped that up before I’d had my morning coffee. Alas Serenity Dental is not like Starbase Dental…though how awesome would it be to go to a Firefly-themed dental practice? And have your teeth cleaned by Captain Tightpants himself. Dreamy. I mean, umm, yeah. As much as I’ve become a Groupon groupie I’m not going to sign up for their “Live Off Groupon” contest (deadline to enter is tomorrow).

We will choose one person to attempt to survive for one year with nothing but a laptop, cellphone, and an unlimited supply of Groupons. If successful, that person will receive $100,000!

Nearly all human survival needs are covered by Groupon. You can get your daily nutritional content with a restaurant Groupon, and then immediately have a Groupon-accepting dentist floss that meal’s remains from your teeth. You can fortify your aortas with a Pilates deal, and protect yourself against rampaging hamburglars with a self-defense class.

In fact, the only barrier inhibiting Groupon staff from living exclusively off of Groupons is that our landlord won’t accept Groupons as rent for our mandatory, hyperbaric, on-site sleeping pods. For those of you who can survive without those, doesn’t the idea of living exclusively off of Groupons sound exhilarating?

So who wants to give it a go?

Now for a mid-week five (or so) good things:

• Another strength-in-numbers group sale site is Gilt. A friend has gotten hooked and invited me to join (in which case he’ll receive a $25 credit if I make a purchase). Unlike Groupon, this site features goods of the more non-essential variety…like high end designer fashions for Men, Women, Children and Home. Still, not a bad place to poke around. Let me know if you’d like an invite.
• One of my favorite authors, A. Lee Martinez, pointed out what a fan did for him/to his first novel. Watch this strange animated Cliffs Notes version of Gil’s All-Fright Diner.
• A few days old, but still worth mentioning…the Devo Color Study and my new desktop wallpaper, Ronald RAYGUN.
• Milwaukee is a fine town that I don’t get to often enough. I may just apply to exhibit/get a booth at their First Annual Milwaukee Domes Art Festival. The $200 booth fee is a little steep, but it is for three days. We’ll see.
• I like this old school Eames cat and these new school cat boats.

Not long ago I mentioned a co-worker who helped us out when my car was in the shop. He was already known as the Lunch King but I declared him to be the King of All Things and today he lived up to that title, yet again. He tracked down a hard-to-find copy of The Wolf’s Hour, the adventures of a World War II nazi-fighting werewolf spy. I can’t wait to read it. It brings to mind the most recent episode of Axe Cop, with its vampire wizard ninja werewolf moon warriors. Oh yes.