Last December I only posted once to this blog, and it was surprisingly hopeful and upbeat. Unfortunately, I feel less optimistic heading into 2022. At this time last year we were on the cusp of rolling out vaccines. This month I know several fully vaccinated people with breakthrough cases of COVID, thanks to the omicron variant. At the start of the pandemic, writer Damian Barr wrote:
We are not all in the same boat. We are in the same storm. Some have yachts, some canoes, and some are drowning. Just be kind and help whoever you can.
Well said and it still holds true. My little household is certainly not in a yacht, but maybe a small trawler? I fully acknowledge our privilege. 2021 was pretty decent for us, on a personal level, aside from my friend’s death. And unhealthy air quality that kept me indoors at times. Like many American workers, I switched jobs mid-year. And for the first time since 2015. It is higher paying and much more aligned with the work I want to do, and still fully remote, thankfully. Because of the higher pay, I was able to take a break from teaching. Working just one job makes for a much better work/life balance situation. All year I continued to nurture relationships with my most trusted friends / chosen family, even when anxiety and depression had me on the ropes. I am so grateful to have those folks in my life. I’ve built up a wonderful community for the kid and me, and I’d be lost without them. Last month I began my first romantic relationship in ages. That one is a work in progress. We’ll see. But the hard work in therapy is paying off. Now it comes more easily for me to speak up to set my expectations and explain my boundaries. Before therapy I was much more of a people-pleaser and so conflict avoidant. Even if this relationship doesn’t work out, I’m proud of myself for standing firm with what I want and need. I came across this (unattributed) quote:
I want you to know something: I am very good at being single. I have absolutely no problem being single. The only reason I would be in a committed relationship with someone is if that relationship is directly benefitting me and my life. I don’t want our relationship to become complacent or under-appreciated. I will give as much love, time and energy as I can to making sure that our relationship is something that is fulfilling to both of us.
Hot damn! That’s me now. Feels good. Some more closing thoughts for the year:
- Some solid advice from Teen Vogue about How to Talk About a Chaotic, Traumatic Year
- I watched the new Matrix movie on my TV, just like I did with the new Dune movie. I would have rather seen both on the big screen but I’m trying to play it safe. Not everyone is loving the new Matrix movie, but I sure enjoyed it. So much nostalgia. I was 25 and pregnant when I saw the first film. Seeing these aged actors play these beloved characters again was very satisfying. And there’s another level to it: ‘This was clearly written by people who feel like I do’: What The Matrix means to transgender and non-binary fans as Resurrections hits cinemas. I am one of those non-binary fans.
- Years before COVID-19, I enjoyed Emily St. John Mandel’s post-apocalyptic pandemic novel, Station Eleven. I didn’t think I’d want to watch an adaptation of it now but it is beautifully done. “Both novel and series are less survivalist action-adventure than ruminations on what makes human lives meaningful, what we’d choose to save when losing everything.”
- My son and I watched the first episode of The Book of Boba Fett last night. And it solved the mystery of how he survived the Sarlacc Pit.
- Unfortunately, there are too many people out there who will try to profit from misery. Counterfeit masks are being sold that will not protect anyone from COVID-19. This is such reprehensible behavior. Thankfully there are groups carefully vetting such products. It’s probably time to up your mask game. Check out Project N95 or this article from NPR.
Nothing like a little deja vu for New Year’s Eve. Or is it a glitch in the Matrix? In preparation for tomorrow night, I suggested I would make vegan sushi again for NYE, but maybe I would add vegetable tempura this time. And my son was like “uhh, yeah. You did that last NYE too.” Sure enough, I looked back through my photos and there it is. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it!” At least I don’t mind repeating this piece of our past. But I’d rather we skip wave after wave of new COVID-19 infections. I no longer make resolutions or predictions so we’ll just wait and see what 2022 has in store for us.
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